Good Bye IB

My IB results weren't exactly what I expected, but whatever, I'll still get to Anglia Ruskin. At least it's over now, for good.

If you happen to be on the same course as me (film studies, starting next fall), or even in the same school, please let me know because I don't know anyone from the whole country so far.

They sent us hoodies!

First attempt with fake nails

I have never really liked fake hair or fake nails. Fake hair I'll probably never try, but today I gave in with nails. I wanted to have long and sharp claw-like nails, but my own ones are rather weak.
I also bought another new nailpolish today in the hope that this one won't peel off right away, because I like my nails black 24/7.

My new nailspolish, Essie.

The equipment needed

The glue came with the nails, but I bought my first own nail file (I've been stealing the ones my mom has bought). I think it's glass, I think it's really effective.

Fake nails attached

I used scissors and file to cut the nails into
 the right form.

The cherries weren't decorations.
I ate them.

I think they turned out to be quite cool, but I'd like them to
be sharper and longer. I'll do better next time.

Two Obscure Poems

I'm not exactly sure if I have already published this poem before, but here it is.

Phantom Ache

They were never there

but I was straying somewhere

Where I shouldn't be

I met those things I can't even see

I looked into those eyes

they broke something inside

That wasn't there to begin with

lost before I discovered it

Why do I still miss

The feelings I never had, people I don't know

Things that don't exist

How can I have this pain

this haunting phantom ache

The next one I wrote few days ago after a rather long pause. I haven't had much time to write poems or do much anything since my working hours kind of suck and I haven't been very energetic.

Market of Used Goods

Stood on the shelf hardly touched

Behind the New Arrivals, gathering dust

Finally my polish wore off,

leaving no story behind my scuffs

Too old to be new,

discarded as no good for use

The prices are higher for vintage,

here come them who look for something epic

In a place filled with history,

you're worthless without a story

What is a sealed package in a second-hand store?

Trash

So I'm only stumbling on the floor

In the market of used goods,

where I was brand new

Drawing Adam

The process of my first attempt to draw Adam Lambert's face as a whole. It took me about a month, but there were periods when I didn't draw for days.
One day I just decided that I want to draw Adam. I thought it would take ages before I would manage to draw a good pic of him, but apparently I wasn't aware of my real skills. It's nice to notice that you are better than you thought, for a change. I'm quite happy right now.

Done.

Learning to Draw (People)

I have wanted to learn to draw for a long time, and this spring I finally started actually trying to improve myself. Lately I've focused on humans, but I would also like to be able to draw beautiful roses and realistic coffee cups. The photos below are drawn during 2016, and they show that few months ago, I wasn't too brilliant. But I've got better.

April 7th. Horrifying.

May 30th, I used Adam Lambert's record cover (Trespassing) as a model.

Some day before the drawing below... No model used.

May 24th, used some random pic I found online as a model.

April 6th, I was learning to draw a female body.
Most of my drawings have been manga girls,
but I like realistic style more nowadays. 

April 1st, learning to draw a male body,
that darkish mess is accidental.
No model used.

Trying to find the best way to draw mustache.
That green dot is a squashed bug,
I was drawing outside...

Used a pic of Adam as a model. Surprisingly.

Yeah, I've determined to learn to draw Adam.
I just ran out of drawing space with this one.

I've been drawing a picture of Adam for two to three weeks now, I'm trying to finish it today. It's a lot better than any of the pictures above... I've improved a lot in a rather short time. I guess I have never really even tried to do my best while drawing, before now. However, I think I still need a model pic in order to draw well.

Back online

Now that I have an Internet connection, I can keep publishing. (Tomorrow...)

More Echoes

I had written down an idea for a poem: Echoes in the dark. A little while ago I wrote a poem based on that idea and published it, as you can see. Now I just opened my sketchbook to draw and found a poem written under that same title. So I had written the poem Echoes In the Dark in my sketchbook, forgotten it, and written a new one. Well, here's the sketchbook version:

Echoes In the Dark

Words leave my lips

and as they travel through the air

distorted

silenced

never received

I hear my echo

I’ve become a ghost

they sense me there

but they don’t know

Thoughts

crash on the walls

only echoes

wandering around

Cage

unknown maze

a hiding place

for my demons to rage

The lights broke

reality grew heartless

my mind

nothing but a mess

My existence

echoes in the darkness