Of Poems and Diamonds

I was sitting on a Finnish lesson today when I had an inspiration. The best ideas always happen that way. They just suddenly start forming in my head, coming almost out of nowhere. The only bad part is that I sometimes forget them before I have written them down. Should always write them down right away, but it's very hard sometimes. For example on the Finnish lessons: there are four students in a cramped classroom. It's not really a place where you can start writing a poem on your phone. (Not that our school would be lacking students, it's just an IB Higher Level Finnish thing...)

For some reason, I don't like telling people that I write poems. Few years ago I found it really embarrassing. There's really no reason for it, but I believe everyone understands. On the other hand, it's almost like making songs, and that's cool, isn't it? There's just no music, only lyrics. And with some songs, lyrics are the best part. I think I have mentioned my guitar that I painted but can't play. Well, I used to dream about being able to play some instrument just so that I could turn my poems into songs. But that dream faded. Didn't die, but faded. It would be incredibly awesome if some day I could make lyrics for songs, but it's not exactly one of my biggest dreams. I'm happy with just the poems.

The cool things about poems is that I can write a story with only few stanzas. Maybe no one gets it, but I get it. I can describe things that cannot be described, the sentences don't need to make sense. That's what I like the most about poems. They don't make sense, and still perfectly describe whatever I want them to describe. The more irrational they are, the more meanings they have. One day they fit perfectly to one situation, few years later the exact same words fit perfectly to an entirely different situation. Or maybe the meaning just gets deeper. Or maybe it doesn't have to have a meaning, maybe it just sounds beautiful. Sometimes there's just words that don't make much sense but sound good, like one or two lines. Then when I try to make it into a longer poem, it doesn't sound good. But two lines isn't really a poem.

Few words about diamonds. Everyone likes diamonds. I like everything sparkling. I have used diamonds before as a metaphor in an old poem, but that metaphor is really hard to explain. "Diamonds too icy, more cold, more sparks". I don't consider diamonds as a symbol of fortune and glamour, more like something precious but immaterial. Like certain characteristics or values that really make you who you are. Those are like diamonds. I think (not sure because it's been years from that poem) that the icy and sparkling part means emotionally icy. The colder, the more sparks, meaning more beautiful, more valuable. Like icy diamonds, they have more sparks than "warm" diamonds. I don't really use any symbol as it is commonly used. I connect happiness to rain and many negative feelings to sunlight. Well, it's not exactly that simple. No wonder if my poems are misunderstood. Feel free to make your own interpretation.

Diamonds of Light

And the sun was shining

so you smiled,

but the diamonds in your eyes

were for someone else.

Don’t drag me into light,

I don’t want to be blind

Come too close

and the diamonds crumble into dust,

wither back to coal,

and you won’t see them shine

Do you want to see

what sunlight does to me?

Does their laughter glitter in the rays,

dribble on the grass like abundant gems

Do you hide inside on rainy days,

I knew you’d be just the same

Enjoy the jewels bleary and fading,

carelessly scattered,

see them touching and breaking

Smile at the sun,

glow in the light

And the sun shines,

so you smile,

with diamonds in your eyes

Don’t touch me,

I don’t want to feel 

Because they are for someone else