Reflecting

I haven't even thought about writing for days since I've been busy with my slow, stress-related mental breakdown. School ends next Thursday, but I think I crossed the line today: I've been crying all evening, not even sure why. I have an English oral exam tomorrow about William Blake's poems or Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre, and I haven't been very concentrated on studying today. Jane Eyre's okay, but if the exam will be about Blake, I'm screwed. I won't know which it's going to be until right before the exam. I guess Blake is a really great poet, but honestly, I don't like most of his poems, especially the ones focused on innocence. But this is just my amateur opinion. On the contrary, I had a Finnish oral exam today about Katri Vala's poems. I like most of her poems from the collection Pesäpuu palaa, they're dark enough to suit my taste.
Anyhow, here's a poem by me. I randomly picked something dark from my poem book. Well, they're all dark.

Reflection

I stare at the mirror

I feel creeping terror

Between me and my reflection

There's no connection

Whole is the girl in front of me

I can't count the pieces underneath

Who's looking back?

The shell of what I used to be.

Innocence in her bluish eyes

A shade of the childish smile

Deep down inside

Behind that pretty lie

I want to paint the walls with blood

I see beauty in the most painful scars

Disgusted by all this love around

So I ripped my heart out

Pain is my consolation

My only friend isolation

The things I used to believe

Only thorns now to tear me

I started losing control

Now the cover and content don't correspond

How I reached this point

These two pieces can't be joined

I don't know anymore

There's nowhere left to look for

P.s. I nearly published one that wasn't that dark, and not as good as this. I always do that. I guess I'm afraid someone who knows me will read my blog, but fuck it, they never do.