I just lied on the floor for... a long time. I don't know, and I do know why. I don't have anything special to do today. Except that I was supposed to write my personal statement for the British Universities I'm applying to... But the stress is still there. It's not like overwhelming stress, it's just the feeling that all this work will never end. I've written a hundred and few more essays and there's still few dozens more to write. And no matter how much effort I put in them, I always end up getting a bad or a just fine grade. And somehow it feels like lying on the floor would help. It doesn't, really. Well, it helps the moment when you're actually lying on the floor not thinking about anything rational. But the moment you get up, or even start planning to get up, the same stress and/or anxiety is there.
If I'm being absolutely honest here, I'm annoyed when the Finnish, "normal" high schoolers complain about their schoolwork and stress. Come on, do you have about eight extra long essays (some including lab work) demanding deep knowledge of a source/sources you hardly even understand, one super long essay demanding even more deep knowledge and background investigation, two oral presentations and three oral exams? And CAS on top of that. Which is doing sports, charity and something creative for 150 hours altogether. PLUS the normal coursework. I don't like complaining, but just to encourage all the normal high schoolers: it's really not that hard.
However, I chose the program myself. I didn't know it was going to be that much work, but here we are. Anyhow, I like to think that the more you work, the better it will feel like when it's over. Three more weeks until Christmas holiday. Almost done.
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