Survival skills

I've been home alone since last Thursday, and will continue being alone until next Thursday, since my parents went on a vacation. I like being home alone, and I can keep the house up. I'm a rather tidy person, so it doesn't get horribly messy even when there's no one to tell me to clean up. I don't forget to lock the doors and I'm not afraid to spend the dark nights alone. I have a car and a driver's license, so shopping groceries is easy. But there's one thing I suck at: cooking. I am absolutely, horribly, unbelievably bad at cooking. I rarely eat a hot meal a day when I'm alone. I hate cooking, I hate how much time it takes, and I hate how bad I am at it. Few days back I made scrambled eggs and I was super proud of myself. Today I made mashed potatoes. It was okay. Quite lumpy, though... But at least I ate something. I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you how hard it is for me to cook. If you wonder if someone can actually be so pathetic that boiling potatoes is an achievement, the answer is yes: I am.
One day I was supposed to make avocado pasta. I don't like spicy food, so I didn't buy chili. Lime I didn't buy because of some sort of mental brain freeze. I thought I had basil at home, but I didn't. So I ended up eating pasta and chopped avocado. And the avocado was still raw. Yummy. And the water from my pasta kettle boiled out of the kettle onto the stove. It happens every time. Even if I just boil water, it bursts out of the kettle.
I used to like baking, but I don't anymore. I always screw up. Yesterday I was supposed to bake mudcake cupcakes. They were too long in the oven. I was so pissed I ate all nine of them at once.
I simply hate cooking. I haven't always hated, but since I fail every damn time, I have grown to hate it. When I move out to my own apartment, I will live with coffee and bananas. And cookies, of course.